Friday, September 26, 2014

Funny Quotes


"Beautiful face. Beautiful body. Horrible attitude. It was the holy trinity of hot boys."
-Obsidian by Jennifer L. Armentrout

“Why are you such an ass?" The words came out before I could think twice.
"Everyone has to excel at something, right?"
"Well, you're doing a great job.”
-Obsidian by Jennifer Armentrout

“I don't think he meant to kiss me," I said finally.
"What? Did he slip and fall on your mouth? Those things are known to happen.”
-Obsidian by Jennifer Armentrout

“Doesn’t he own a shirt?” I asked, grabbing a spade. “Unfortunately, I don’t think so. Not even in the winter. He’s always running around half-dressed.” She groaned. “Its disturbing that I have to see so much of his…skin. Yuck.” Yuck for her. And hot damn for me.”
-Obsidian by Jennifer Armentrout


“The Darkling will hunt you for the rest of your days."
"Then you and I will have something in common, won't we? Besides, I like to have powerful enemies. Makes me feel important."
Mal crossed his arms and considered the privateer. "I can't decide if you're crazy or stupid."
"I have so many good qualities," Sturmhond said. "It can be hard to choose.” 
-Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo

“I'm perfectly capable of being stupid on my own.” -Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo

“I saw the prince when I was in Os Alta,” said Ekaterina. “He’s not bad looking.”
“Not bad looking?” said another voice. “He’s damnably handsome.”
Luchenko scowled. “Since when—”
“Brave in battle, smart as a whip.” Now the voice seemed to be coming from above us. Luchenko craned his neck, peering into the trees. “An excellent dancer,” said the voice. “Oh, and an even better shot.”
“Who—” Luchenko never got to finish. A blast rang out, and a tiny black hole appeared between his eyes.
I gasped. “Imposs—”
“Don’t say it,” muttered Mal.” 
-Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo

"What's up with hotness? I wonder. He looks like someone definitely broke his crayons."
-Inescapable by Amy A Bartol







“Dear God!
I screamed and buried my face in my pillow.
"What?!" I heard him ask. "Did you see a roach?"
"Why are you naked?!" I did not dare to lift my red face.
"Huh. Is that all?" he asked. "I always sleep in the buff. I don't know how you can stand all that clothing."
"Unbelievable." I said, and without looking at him I pulled myself up and stomped to the bathroom.”

-Sweet Evil by Wendy Higgins

“We are far too screwed up for a goddamned love triangle.” 
-The Evolution of Mara Dyer by Michelle Hodkin




“Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?” 
-The Iron King by Julie Kagawa 

“Good idea,” Puck echoed from the back of the cave. “Why don’t you take first watch, prince? You could actually be doing something that doesn’t make me want to gouge my eyes out with a spork.”
Ash’s lips curled in a smirk. “I would think you’re better suited to the task, Goodfellow,” he said without turning around. “After all, that’s what you’re best at isn’t it? Watching?”
“Oh, keep it up, ice-boy. You’re gonna have to sleep sometime.” 

-The Iron Queen by Julie Kagawa



“How long was I asleep?" she whispered. He didn't respond.
"How long was I asleep?" she asked again, and noticed a hint of red in his cheeks.
"You were asleep, too?"
"Until you began drooling on my shoulder.” 
-Throne of Glass by Sarah J. Maas

“Why do you call her 'love'?" James asks. "I've heard you say that before, too. A lot. Are you in love with her? I think Adam's in love with her. Kenji's not in love with her, though. I already asked him." 
Warner blinks at him. 
"Well?" James asks. 
"Well what?" 
"Are you in love with her?" 
"Are you in love with her?" 
"What?" James blushes. "No. She's like a million years older than me." 
"Would anyone else like to take over this conversation?" Warner asks, looking around the group.” 
-Tahereh Mafi, Ignite Me

“Are you out of your goddamn mind? You think we can take on two hundred soldiers? I know I am an extremely attractive man, J, but I am not Bruce Lee.”
“Who’s Bruce Lee?”
“Who’s Bruce Lee?” Kenji asks, horrified. “Oh my God. We can’t even be friends anymore.”
“Why? Was he a friend of yours?”
“You know what,” he says, “just stop. Just—I can’t even talk to you right now.” 
-Tahereh Mafi, Ignite Me

“Hey, um, I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a friend of mine," he says. "Have you seen her? She's a tiny little thing, cries a lot, spends too much time with her feelings-"
"Shut up, Kenji!"
"Oh wait!" he says. "It is you.” 
-Tahereh Mafi, Ignite Me

“I am going to MURDER YOU—”
“No,” he says, pointing at me as he shifts backward again. “Bad Juliette. You don’t like to kill people, remember? You’re against that, remember? You like to talk about feelings and rainbows—” 
-Tahereh Mafi, Ignite Me

"I have a ninja sitting shotgun. Of course I'm tense."
-Angelfire by Courtney Allison Moulton






"On the bright side," Percy said, "both Jason and I outrank you, Octavian. So we can both tell you to shut up." -The Mark of Athena by Rick Riordan








“You really need to work on intonation when you use sarcasm. That way people will know when you’re being an asshole.”
-Smokeless Fire by Samantha Young


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